Novice
$0 / eternity
For the spiritually curious and financially sensible.
- Access to the public abbey
- One imaginary candle
- Basic robe energy
Forgiveness has a Subscription Fee.
Forgive me, Brother,
for I have sinned.
Confess your worst. Brother Matthew can take it.
18+ · Swearing and dirty jokes welcome. No names or identifying details.
✦
Brother MatthewReady for your confession
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THE ABBEY’S OPEN BOOK
The Wall of Sins
The Gospel According to Matthew
Browse Confessions
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Got something to confess? Step inside +
03 / CHOOSE YOUR CALLING
A higher power.
A lower monthly fee.
Find your place in the order.
All blessings. No billing.
MOST DEVOUT
THE FULL FRIAR EXPERIENCEBrotherhood
3 Hail Marys / moon
Unlock your inner monk. Keep your outer chaos.
- Premium imaginary blessings
- Priority pew energy
- Behind-the-scenes incense
Abbot After Dark
1 soul / kidding
For those who know the abbey’s Wi-Fi password.
- All the blessings included
- VIP Gregorian chant energy
- Absolutely no actual soul transfer
Just for fun. No paid subscriptions or payments.
THE QR PLACARD
Scan. Confess. Repeat.
Your guest pass to the abbey. Scan the placard, receive a pass, and get straight to confessing.
Your guest invitation ↗
Download QR Placard ↓